Newborn babies are amazing — they truly are. And believe it or not, so is newborn sleep.
For around nine months they grow and develop in the womb before entering the world. Then suddenly everything changes. Instantly, they must do things completely differently… and somehow they just do.
When babies are born, they stop receiving oxygen and nutrients through the umbilical cord and instead begin breathing with their lungs and digesting milk through their own digestive system. It’s utterly incredible how their bodies adapt in a matter of moments.
Because the main thing babies are hard-wired to do is survive.
So why start a post about newborn sleep by talking about breathing and feeding?
Because it highlights something important: their bodies know exactly what to do.
And one of the things babies instinctively know how to do is sleep.
Just not like adults.
Unfortunately, many of us are sold unrealistic expectations about baby sleep. We’re often told that babies should sleep through the night or fall asleep independently very early on — essentially, that they should sleep like adults.
But babies aren’t adults.
Yet every year companies make huge amounts of money from exhausted parents desperately trying to get their babies to sleep independently, even though independence is the opposite of what newborns have experienced for the previous nine months.
In the womb, babies were constantly soothed by you.
They were:
- Rocked to sleep by your movements
- Comforted by the steady rhythm of your heartbeat
- Surrounded by the sounds of your body
So it makes perfect sense that many babies fall asleep when they are rocked, patted, or shushed after birth.
Interestingly, many sleep products marketed to parents recreate these exact sensations — white noise, rocking motions, and vibration — even though parents are often made to feel they shouldn’t provide those comforts themselves.
But responding to your baby this way is completely natural.
Where Modern Sleep Advice Comes From
Modern expectations about infant sleep have also been shaped by historical parenting trends.
One early advocate of leaving babies to cry was paediatrician Emmett Holt in 1892. He suggested babies should be left to cry because it was supposedly “good for their lungs.”
Personally, I’d argue that breathing normally all day and night probably does the job perfectly well.
Over time these ideas evolved. In 1982, Dr Richard Ferber introduced what became known as the Ferber Method, a form of sleep training where parents check on their baby at intervals until they fall asleep. Variations of this approach include gentle sleep training methods and other structured routines.
Much of the rise of sleep training coincided with social changes during and after the Industrial Revolution, when more families required both parents to work outside the home. Encouraging babies to sleep for long stretches helped exhausted parents function at work the next day.
This history doesn’t mean any single approach is right or wrong for every family. But understanding where parenting trends come from can help parents make informed decisions about what works best for them.
Why Newborns Wake Frequently
Frequent night waking in newborns and wanting to be close isn’t a problem — it’s actually a protective survival mechanism.
Remember, babies are biologically wired for survival. Their needs are simple:
- To feel safe
- To be fed
- To be warm
- To be dry
The primitive parts of the brain that control these needs haven’t caught up with modern life. Your baby doesn’t know you have heating, electricity, and secure homes. From their perspective, they still need to stay close to their caregiver for safety.
Their Tummies Are Tiny
Another important factor is stomach size.
In the first week of life, a baby’s stomach grows from roughly the size of a cherry to about the size of an apricot.
Breast milk is also digested faster than formula, which means breastfed babies may wake more often to feed. This is completely normal, and it’s why comparing your baby’s sleep to another baby’s can be frustrating and misleading.
With a tummy that small, babies naturally need to feed frequently — day and night.
By around six months, a baby’s stomach is closer to the size of a large egg, which is why longer stretches of sleep often begin to appear naturally around this stage.
Babies also grow incredibly quickly — both physically and neurologically. Every single day is full of brand-new experiences, and all that development takes energy.
Think about how hungry you might feel when studying hard for exams. For babies, that level of brain development is happening every day.
Babies Wake for Comfort Too
Adults wake during the night as well.
You might wake up to:
- Take a sip of water
- Adjust your pillow
- Check the time
- Cuddle closer to your partner
These small comforts help you settle back to sleep.
Babies aren’t so different.
Yet parents are often told that needing comfort at night is something babies should quickly grow out of.
But for babies, closeness equals safety.
Night Waking Can Be Protective
Frequent waking also helps regulate a newborn’s breathing.
When you hold your baby, your presence can help stabilise their breathing patterns. This is one reason why frequent waking is thought to help reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
Waking also ensures babies are fed regularly and reassured that they are safe.
Eventually, All Children Learn to Sleep
Here’s something many exhausted parents don’t hear often enough:
Every child eventually learns to sleep independently.
Just like adults, some people are naturally good sleepers while others struggle more.
But over time children develop the ability to:
- Fall asleep independently
- Link sleep cycles
- Sleep for longer stretches
If sleep deprivation becomes overwhelming, some families find safe co-sleeping helpful. When practiced safely, many parents find it dramatically improves sleep for both baby and parents.
For breastfeeding mothers in particular, being able to feed and settle a baby without fully waking can make a huge difference.
And responding to your baby at night doesn’t mean you are “spoiling” them or “creating bad habits.” It simply means you are meeting their needs and helping them feel secure.
A Short Season of Life
Our children are little for such a brief moment.
You are their entire world when they are small.
So if they wake in the night just to know you’re there — is that really such a bad thing?
If you want any postnatal support from me click here
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, low, anxious, or unlike yourself, please know that support is available. Your GP, midwife, health visitor, or NHS perinatal mental health team can help — and reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure.
Where possible, guidance shared here is informed by both traditional naturopathic principles and current evidence. Care is always individual, and what works well for one person may not be right for another.
