Stress. We hear about it all the time. We’re constantly told about the negative impact it has on our health, and if I’m honest, that can be stressful in itself.
Then there’s the reality of modern life. The mental load that so many women carry every single day is enormous. Work, commuting, cooking, endless washing, life admin, remembering birthdays, keeping on top of appointments, looking after children if they’re already in the family, and trying to carve out five minutes for yourself somewhere in amongst it all.
Then you add trying for a baby.
Every month brings hope, followed by waiting. You analyse every symptom, wonder if this month will be different and then, if your period arrives, you have to pick yourself up and do it all again. For some women, that then becomes conversations about fertility investigations, treatment or IVF. None of that is easy, and pretending it isn’t stressful doesn’t help anyone.
As I’m writing this, I’m also aware that reading about stress can make you feel…well…more stressed. That really isn’t my aim.
My aim is to acknowledge what you might be carrying because, so often, it’s invisible. I see it every day in clinic. I see women who are doing everything they possibly can to conceive whilst juggling careers, relationships, families and the expectations they place on themselves. It’s a lot.
The good news is that there are simple things you can do to help reduce the overall stress burden on your body. None of them are about “just relaxing” because, let’s be honest, if it were that easy, we’d all be doing it. Instead, they’re about supporting your nervous system and helping your body feel a little safer. Then, if you decide you’d like to look at things in more depth, that’s where I can help with personalised nutrition and lifestyle support.
Why does stress affect fertility?
Your body is incredibly intelligent. Long before we had emails, smartphones and overflowing to-do lists, our brains were designed to keep us alive. One of the most important jobs of the nervous system is deciding whether the environment feels safe enough for growth, healing and reproduction.
Growing a baby is one of the biggest jobs your body will ever do. It requires huge amounts of energy and resources, so your brain is constantly taking in information about what’s happening around you.
When you’re under pressure, the stress response activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to increased production of cortisol, your main stress hormone. In the short term, cortisol is incredibly useful. It helps you deal with challenges and keeps you alert. The problem comes when that stress response never really switches off.
Persistently elevated cortisol can influence the communication between the brain and the ovaries, which may affect ovulation in some women, alter menstrual cycles and influence reproductive hormones, including progesterone. Progesterone plays a vital role after ovulation and during early pregnancy, so this hormonal conversation is incredibly important.
It’s Not Just About Your Ovaries
What many people don’t realise is that fertility isn’t just about the ovaries.
Your adrenal glands, which sit on top of your kidneys, have an important role to play too. They’re often known as the body’s stress hormone glands because they produce cortisol, but they also produce hormones such as DHEA and adrenal androgens, which act as building blocks for the body’s sex hormones. The adrenal glands are constantly communicating with the brain as part of the wider hormonal network that helps regulate your menstrual cycle and support reproduction.
When your body is dealing with ongoing stress, the adrenal glands are repeatedly being asked to produce cortisol. This doesn’t mean they stop producing sex hormones altogether, but it does mean the body’s priority shifts towards managing the perceived threat. Over time, that constant stress response can influence the delicate communication between the brain, adrenal glands and ovaries, making it harder for the reproductive system to function at its best.
I think this is one of the reasons fertility can feel so frustrating. We often focus entirely on the ovaries, but fertility is never about one organ in isolation. It’s about how the whole endocrine system is communicating.
Your Ancient Brain Doesn’t Know the Difference
The tricky thing is that your brain doesn’t necessarily know the difference between being chased by a predator thousands of years ago and the pressures of modern life. Of course, logically you know that answering emails, sitting in traffic, worrying about bills or listening to the person in the office chewing gum with their mouth open isn’t life-threatening. Your ancient brain, however, simply recognises ongoing stress and responds accordingly.
That doesn’t mean stress is stopping you from getting pregnant. If it did, nobody would ever conceive during difficult periods of their lives, and we know that’s simply not true. It does, however, mean that supporting your nervous system and reducing unnecessary stress where you can may help create a healthier hormonal environment.
Another casualty of stress is sleep.
Why Sleep Matters for Fertility
When your brain is constantly switched on, sleep often becomes lighter and more broken. You might struggle to fall asleep because your mind won’t stop racing, wake at three o’clock in the morning thinking about everything you need to do, or sleep for eight hours and still wake feeling exhausted.
Sleep is when your body carries out much of its repair work. Hormones are regulated, inflammation is controlled, tissues recover and your brain processes the day. Poor sleep doesn’t just leave you feeling tired; it can also affect cortisol regulation, blood sugar balance and the hormonal systems involved in fertility.
So, what can you actually do?
The aim isn’t to create another impossible checklist. The aim is to gently reduce the overall stress burden your body is carrying. Even small changes, done consistently, can make a real difference.
Gentle ways to support your nervous system
Step Away From the News
One of the biggest things I encourage my fertility clients to do is stop consuming so much news. Unless it’s essential for your job, you really don’t need to know every headline. The world feels particularly heavy at the moment, and for most of us there is very little we can actually do about the majority of it. Constant exposure to bad news keeps your nervous system switched on and your brain looking for the next threat. Give yourself permission to step away. I promise your life won’t fall apart because you didn’t watch the evening news.
Protect Your Time and Energy
Be selfish with your time. I know that sounds like a strange thing to say, especially as women are so often expected to put everyone else first, but protecting your energy is important. If there are people who consistently leave you feeling drained and you don’t have to spend time with them, don’t. It’s okay to have boundaries. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Create a Calming Evening Routine
Having a warm bath in the evening with Epsom salts can become a lovely way of signalling to your body that the day is over. The warmth helps you relax, and while Epsom salts are rich in magnesium, it’s often the ritual itself that helps calm the nervous system and encourages your body to switch out of fight-or-flight mode.
Eat Foods That Support Your Body
Food can also play an important role. I often joke with clients that they have my permission to eat curry! Many of the herbs and spices used in curries, including ginger, garlic, turmeric and onions, have anti-inflammatory properties, and if you add oily fish you also benefit from omega-3 fats, which are important for both hormone health and reducing inflammation. It doesn’t have to be curry, of course, but including plenty of colourful vegetables, herbs, spices and healthy fats is one of the simplest ways to nourish your body.
Get Outside Every Morning
If you can, spend some time outside first thing in the morning. Getting natural daylight into your eyes helps regulate your circadian rhythm, which in turn supports better sleep later that night. If you happen to have access to some grass, kick your shoes off for a few minutes. Being in the fresh air, the connection with nature and simply taking a moment to slow down, is incredibly beneficial.
Prioritise Better Sleep
Try going to bed just half an hour earlier than you usually would. Put your phone down, turn the television off and read a book instead. Our brains need a chance to slow down before sleep, and endless scrolling rarely helps.
Make Time for Joy
Make time for things that genuinely make you happy. Watch a comedy that makes you laugh. Listen to music that makes you want to dance around the kitchen. Visit an art exhibition if that’s your thing, wander around a National Trust garden, meet a friend for coffee or head out for a long walk. We often think these things are indulgent, but they’re not. They remind your nervous system that life isn’t just appointments, responsibilities and stress.
Move Your Body Gently
Move your body regularly, but be mindful of how it makes you feel. Exercise is brilliant for both physical and mental health, but if you’re already feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, pushing yourself through intense late-night workouts is not be what your body needs. Morning exercise often works well because it supports your natural cortisol rhythm, while something gentler, such as yoga or stretching in the evening, can help you unwind before bed.
Nourish Yourself, Not Perfect Yourself
Finally, don’t underestimate the impact of your everyday diet. You don’t have to eat perfectly, and perfection is never the goal, but reducing highly processed foods where you can and choosing more whole, nourishing foods gives your body the building blocks it needs to function well.
Please Don’t Blame Yourself
I want to finish by saying this because it’s something I feel very strongly about.
Please don’t read this article and think that if you’re struggling to conceive it’s because you’re “too stressed”. That isn’t what the evidence tells us, and it’s certainly not what I’m saying.
Stress doesn’t automatically stop you getting pregnant, and telling someone to “just relax” is one of the least helpful things you can say to a person who is trying to conceive.
What we do know is that chronic stress can influence the way the brain, adrenal glands and ovaries communicate with one another. We know it can affect sleep, inflammation and hormone regulation, and we know that helping your nervous system feel safer benefits your overall health.
Instead of putting pressure on yourself to eliminate stress completely, focus on reducing the overall burden your body is carrying. Be kind to yourself. Protect your energy where you can. Nourish your body with good food. Prioritise sleep. Make time for joy.
These aren’t quick fixes, and they certainly aren’t guarantees, but they are powerful ways of supporting your body whilst you’re navigating one of the most emotionally challenging journeys many women will ever experience.
How I Can Support Your Fertility Journey
If you’re trying to conceive naturally or preparing for fertility treatment and you’d like personalised support, I’d love to help. Together we can look beyond the ovaries and take a whole-body approach to fertility, exploring nutrition, lifestyle, hormone health and the many factors that influence your reproductive health. Click here to book a no-pressure chat about how I may be able to help you.
